Showing posts with label happiness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label happiness. Show all posts

Raising a Toast to Life

We are all here – our aspirations, our words, our people, even those who don’t quite like us. There are those who are ready to write us down, but then, they are all here and we can’t see them off. Throughout your day, they are there, with their words and their anger reeking through your veins as you smile and reply to another email at work, attending another meeting which could have been done over a call instead. You are suffering through your day and there is just no way out of it. You wish to get away from it all but even you know this very poison drives you forward. Well, you might as well celebrate it.

Farewell, My Friend

Farewell, my friend, as I see you off to a journey unknown. Farewell, that's all I can say. I have had so many things to write, and yet, I can only muster this word. Have a happy life, may you be loved like you always wanted to be, may you love like you never have. May the moments we cherished together get written over by better ones. May you travel the world, see the stars glisten on someone else's eyes, someone who loves you as much as the world.

Is It Really Worth It?

'On Melancholy' - The School of Life from Hannah Jacobs on Vimeo.

Through the silence in between the words and through the disappointing glares of so many, you may have asked yourself this question, or worse, forgotten to. They have marched on, leaving you with a shattered thought of hopelessness, like a dinghy lost in the sea, lost in the silence between the words and you hope and pray to find the answers and find your salvation. There are so many things that are running through your mind that you are oblivious, oblivious of the very root of the problem that has taken you down the path you never wished you had set foot on. And yet, here we are, through the nothingness of cold winter and a stiffling summer, trying to find answers.

To Unlearn Your Love

The call got disconnected before I could say "Stop!", before I could plead one last time to that person, individual, to still hope, to still consider the morning after the night. The call got disconnected as the night enshrouded me into a raging storm of Whys and What Ifs. I could call back but the number will be switched off, I could leave a message but it won't work the same way. Social networking sites, the thought-dump of so many of us, weren't quite working for me. When you are angry, you can still mutter a few words. But this was rage, an anger so pure that the mouth couldn't fathom a few words. Suddenly, the cold night didn't seem cold enough.

Have I Loved You Enough?

I don't know anything about you. I see you everyday, through the pages of my journals, in the photographs that you so hated to take but took anyway. I don't know how you are, where are you. I don't know how this happened, this thing that makes me go back to you like the very death we are so desperately trying to avoid but have to face up to, anyway. I don't know what's the first thought that runs through your mind when you get up in the morning, and open your window to the world. 

I don't know whether you are happy or dead inside. Have I loved you enough?

Not Being Sad Doesn't Mean Being Happy

"Hey! How are you?"

The innocuous question, what our parents taught us to ask a new person when we were kids, stares at you through that chat window. For a brief second, you wished you had turned off the chat a couple of minutes ago. But you forgot. Because you were busy running down the news-feed, checking marriage photographs, new-mummies and foreign trips of people you didn't care about while your work was calling. You just weren't interested to answer to that. "Such a vague question!", you thought. "I might be dying here but I got to reply that I am Okay. God, damnit it!" You key your reply, which is duly seen in a couple of seconds. For a second, you wished the conversation ended right there.

One Last Breath

The luggage was quite heavy, something I hadn’t quiet expected. But then I wasn’t quite travelling, I was leaving. 3 bags full of clothes and things I might need to start afresh in a city of millions, thousands of kilometres away. But then it’s not just the bags that you carry when you leave your home. 

I have been travelling all my life, perks of being a military brat. But then other than leaving my buddies, nothing pained about the transfers. A new place, new people always made me happy, with the prospective of probably trying to be a better kid. When you are reduced to a walking, talking Water Hyacinth, you sort of prepare yourself for the eventuality called life.

Your Sixty Minutes

24 hours, 24 hours make a day and yet somehow, at the end of it all, we are really left praying for some more hours. 9 hours of work, 2 hours of commute, 7 hours of pretentious-sleep and you hardly are left with time to do something that you have always wanted - to do the things that you love. Then, there are the deadlines, the expectations of others and your own unique hell that you carry from yesterday. The collective weight already makes you feel like dropping back to bed and call in sick. And yet, somehow, you know you cannot afford to do so. There is this meeting to attend, that mail to send, that college kid whom you cannot ignore anymore for sponsorship that he so desires. The Autumn morning looks eerily dry and all you can do is pray that you don't snap.

Alone and Happy? Is that Even Possible?

You look around. You are walking along a deserted road. It's way past midnight and not a single soul is out there courageous enough to brave the cold. You hang on. The cold hasn't even hit its peak. It has to match up to the inside, after all!

There are some situations that just happen in your life. Situations that you can't have any control on. There are not many occasions when you can take a step that doesn't piss anyone off. And by this constant disappointment, sometimes self-inflicted, you slowly erode away to the point that nothing but just a mere reflection of the vegetative state of your self remains. You hang on to the dear thought that it will all go away. And the cold is merely setting in.

It's midnight. Time's ticking away.

So, What's Your Resolution?

Another list, another resolution, for it's another year altogether. Every year, we sit down to create a list of all the things that we aspire to achieve the next year - may be lose weight, may be to quit smoking. But they seldom last a week, just like the new year's fad.

So, what's your resolution for the coming year? Here are few of my suggestions -

Are You Nervous? I Know I Am

I have been nervous for too many times. Nervousness always precedes failure. I really love it when I am nervous. For seldom I face situations when I am face-to-face with fear. I always somehow connect nervousness with fear. How can anybody feel fear? Does fear happen when a person is afraid of something?

Everyone has a fear. The trick is to withstand the fear and emerge victorious. When you have big meeting coming up, or you have been asked to represent your company in an event where you are required to address a crowd of hundreds, you naturally would fear for the worst. It's natural. And this is why I hate it.

What is Yours?

You find yourself in an unimaginable spot, questions ruling your mind at every step of the way. You sit down, close your eyes and for a moment you try and dig through your memories to find out some good thoughts. You fail. 

You get up, wash your face, put on that mask which deceives everyone, everyday. You get along with the day. You work your heart out just to let those thoughts stay away from you. You overwork. But just when you thought you have made some headway, they strike back with vengeance. You are like the lone tree in a fierce storm, counting the moments down to the time you will be blown away.

A ticking bomb.

You get home, tired and rusted. Fumble your way through the lines of the diary, bringing out all the sad thoughts that made your lone journey back home unbearable. You curse yourself, for no apparent reasons. You flip through the pictures of your college life. You see the faces that were once all over you. 

Now gone.

You think you need to call someone up. You grab the phone, run down the phonebook. Even though you have hundreds of friends in your list, you still can't call a single person. You heave a sigh. Then mysteriously, an SMS pops up. Who is it again? Ah! The salary just got credited.

But you have no one to tell. Within a couple of days, you reckon, half of it will go on to pay up for rent and other stuff. And the situation drags on. And then it hits you -

"What is mine?"
You think of asking this to someone in a pathetic attempt to find some kind of revelation that may be you didn't even know. But then there is no one you can ask this for the very simple reason that no one else has been with you through and no one can suggest you anything as for the simple reason that they don't know any of it.

You have lent your ears countless times to those who needed you in their tough times, but they are now much gone. Your friends are eager to know about you through Facebook, but don't have the patience to withstand for a whole minute on a call. They are just too busy.

For a moment you wish you were alone to begin with. What's the point of having friends if they have to leave you some day? Are those friends yours forever? You and me both know the answer.

The answer to the seemingly simple question is this - No. Nothing is yours. You are a part of someone else's journey and so is someone to yours. Everything is momentary. It is much better to not bend down and lose the person than to do it and lose them anyway.

You will have your self respect. Nothing else. That is what stays with you till the last breath you take..and some memories. 


Embrace Darjeeling : Embrace Your Self

You close your eyes and you discover that numbness in the air, you open your eyes and you see the stars on earth. At first, you don't believe your eyes. They said this was a wonderful sight, then even said it will blow you away. But even after knowing so much, you still fell for it. Yes! You are in Darjeeling. 

Never mind the route, never mind the fellow tourists, somethings just won't change. But what you really do is - re-plug||re-connect||re-live. You look at the valley on the opposite side, you see a cluster of buildings and carpet of green. You turn your eyes away for just one second and the next thing you know, the valley disappears in a sea of are clouds.

There is something magical about the hills - the locals. They are wonderful. Always smiling, always helpful. There is never a single moment where you will find yourself aloof, alone, depressed. The locals, from tea estate workers to tea stall owners, are always ready with some tale or the other.

For someone who has been to most hill stations from around the country and around the world, Darjeeling won't provide you something new. It will, however, give you ample time to talk to yourself. In these maddening times, we are always constantly running after something, running from someone, running towards someone.

Darjeeling brings your sadness to a standstill. It makes you wanna stand up and embrace nature, just as you would embrace your mother after any success. Clouds welcome you, embrace you and then leave you, all within a few moments. You know what is left behind of those clouds? Of those few moments?


You will have a smile right across your face when you will witness the clouds slowing embracing you and then leave you, promising to come back. You will have a smile when sun rays will suddenly burst through the clouds and fill your world with the light of life. 

The real fun isn't in having an Italian cuisine at some two star joint or in Cafe Coffee day in the Mall Road in Darjeeling. The real fun is in some far more different place. It is in a shady little hut with "Restaurant" written in broken English in a worn-out wood board. The real fun is asking for "Veg momo" from an old lady who speaks broken Hindi and then asking for the Darjeeling tea..ahhh! the smell..

Keep your cell activity to the minimum, go for a morning walk. The mountains just won't make you stop. You will keep walking towards her with the same eagerness as you used run to your mother after school each day, everyday. 

You will see her smile through the rays, you will see her laugh through the swaying leaves of the forest. You will see her welcoming you through her people, you will see her wishing you a good bye through the tall mountains.

You will find Darjeeling not much different that you would to any other hill station. All you need to do is look closer..

You will find your self not much different than what others talk and feel about you. All you need to do is look closer.

Welcome to yourself. Good Bye to Darjeeling. 

Be That North Star for Your Loved Ones

Life is indeed a funny joke. There are people whom we often bump on to, and there are people, who guide us like the north star, and yet they are light years away.

Wouldn't it be nice to be that North Star for someone else's life?

It is absolutely painful when we see our loved ones commiting mistakes in life. Some mistakes such as, "Oops! I spilled coffee" are forgettable. Its the serious ones which make us sad, angry and above all, depressed.

Let them fall for once
Let them fall for once
There are ways and means with which we can make them a better person - by letting them go and figure it out. 

Many of us fell down while playing when we were kids (If you didn't then may god bless you!). Remember what our parents did? They never stopped us from playing, but they picked us up when we fell. They used to distract us with all sorts of things like hitting the stone that hurt us or may be something else.

The point is - Don't stop your loved ones from committing mistakes and especially, DON'T BEAT YOURSELF UP!

Remember, the North Star is there to guide us, only when we look for it in the sky.

Be there for your loved one when he/she asks for help. Help them get back on two feet. This is where you will exceed their expectations. 

We will not be there for our loved ones after we die, but one thing is for sure - memories is what will remain as our best gift to them. 

Ensure to have that perfect gift, OK?

Why Build Walls?

    Derek Vinyard: I'm not. I'm lucky. I feel lucky because it's wrong, Danny. It's wrong and it was eating me up, it was going to kill me. And I kept asking myself all the time, how did I buy into this shit? It was because I was pissed off, and nothing I ever did ever took that feeling away. I killed two guys, Danny, I killed them. And it didn't make me feel any different. It just got me more lost and I'm tired of being pissed off, Danny. I'm just tired of it.
                                   -          American History X

Sometimes, out of the sheer sadness which grips us and makes our lives quite insufferable, we really deserve one simple little thing - A break. I do not understand this one simple thing as to why people feel so shy to say what they really want? Why do people always deviate away from the real issue which bothers them and not try and solve it?

Discovering happiness becomes an altogether tough task when we shy away from all the love that is around us..ready to embrace us.

I have seen relationships break down overnight when either of the two people starts creating boundaries around him/her for no apparent reasons.

Communication has transformed so beautifully with time. Now-a-days, we are able to express our thoughts fearlessly, albeit in front of the monitor and then have people (friends??) dissect and analyze them.

Image courtesy - fotothing
Is it right to write about a certain person which we do not have the guts to speak in front of him/her? It is akin to backstabbing and although the results are the same (death), the murderer never experiences peace.

This is what I’ve learnt from these failed experiences. No matter how much high you create that wall around yourself to “shield away people from hurting you”, in the end, these walls may be too high for you to climb over and ask for help.

Be happy. Just love

“   Bob Sweeney: There was a this. when I used to blame everything and everyone... for all the pain and suffering and vile things that happened to me, that I saw happen to my people. Used to blame everybody. Blamed white people, blamed society, blamed God. I didn't get no answers 'cause I was asking the wrong questions. You have to ask the right questions.
Derek Vinyard: Like what?
Bob Sweeney: Has anything you've done made your life better?

Dreams and Why I Don’t Want One

"The invariable mark of a dream is to see it come true."    - Ralph Waldo Emerson

The raging thunderstorm inside was too much to handle. I kept on fighting the winds only to fall back on where I started. My eyes were all blurry with the strong gust and rain falling on my face. Everywhere I saw were dark clouds hovering closer and closer..

It was getting dark.

Just then the wind stopped. Was the worst over? Or was this the uncomfortable calm just before the storm. I was nervous and yet anxious. I didn’t know what lay in front of me and yet I didn’t want to know that either..and yet I had to.

I stood there for a moment and then dashed forward, quickening my pace. From the corner of my eyes I could see lightning flash across the horizon. I held my belongings close to my heart and kept walking, eyes firmly on the ground.

I was immersed in the petrichor all around and for a moment a faint smile was all what I had.

Dreams are the doors of uncertainty
image courtesy -
Behind me were the clouds and lay in front of me was a dry desert kissed by the rain after a thousand years. The sky was red and I had to run; I had to reach there, somewhere.

I called out for someone, anyone. The silence was all what I got in return. The silence of the world when the wind stops, was all what I got in return. Like dead leaves getting crushed under me, my dream was collapsing on me…The weight of my emotions was too much to carry.

And then, it rained.

I turned around. I saw clouds of rain slowly making their way towards me and I just couldn’t outrun them.

Yes! My dream was collapsing..and fast!

Dreams don’t play by your rules, it’s the other way round. It is just the feeling that matters. When you are in a beautiful dream, just when you are enjoying it, it ends...It vanishes. And no matter how much you try to move out of a nightmare, you just can’t.

You are your own prisoner in the dreams.

It really amazes me when I see myself in one of my dreams. I just don’t like them one bit. They make me hate the world I wake up to. I just have myself in those dreams and the people who are out there to catch me.

And I am just running away from them all the time. I don’t know the reason why they are out to catch me, I don’t want to. All I care is to wake up to a world that otherwise, treats me like a step-son.

There will be a day I will stop running. There will be a day when I will face the demons, demons that held me captive my own dream. I will confront them and chase them away. There will be a day, when I will quit dreaming altogether.

That day will I be born, out of the ashes of my own dreams.

One day. Someday.

The Power of Memories

Memories hug you through tough times
Memories can do wonderful things. They make you cry when you least expect, and they can make you smile no matter how much sadness grips you. We are what our memories make us. The person that you see everyday at the mirror is living and breathing because of these memories.

In these mad times, we often forget who we are, where we belong and where we are destined to go from here. Trust me, whenever you feel devastated, just sit back, or go out and take your memories along with you. You will instantly know what you are supposed to do.

There is a time in our lives when we find that one person whom we think as everything. And when they leave, it is the memories that stay along with us. A moment spent with our loved ones may take decades to forget. I have the honor of spending some of my life's best moments with people who made me what I am today.

It was raining today and I wanted to enjoy in my own way. After work today, before I got back home, I simply switched off my cell and went for a walk along the lake. The place frequented by joggers and lovers, was all desolated at that point of time.

The silence of the night was only broken with bikes with rushed by. It was only me, my thoughts, a warm cup of tea and some drops of cold November rain. I just let go the thoughts which came rushing to me with every drop of rain falling on me.

"..And we both know hearts can change
And it's hard to hold a candle
In the cold November rain.."

I remembered back then, I never had to experience the rains alone. I had someone besides me. The person made me love the rain. We spent the days and nights laughing and dancing all throughout the rains. 

And now..only the memories remain. 

I remembered them all. The time spent without any worries about the future, the time spent being at that particular moment, the time spent, perhaps, being pure happy.

The tea had gone cold and I was aimlessly walking along the winding roads...

The cold wind suddenly picked up. The commotion within me needed just that, an assurance. With leaves making love to the wind and dancing along all through the night, I was left with this simple thought - 

Our loved ones are there because god wants us to enjoy the moment. And to see us smile all throughout our lives, he has created memories. Sometimes, being alone with nothing else than a cup of tea and some memories is more than enough to restore the smile back on our faces.

I heaved a sigh of relief. I had finally over-powered my past demons. I was successful at suppressing the bad memories and was happy and contended with what I had right then...myself.

Cherish your loved ones, and the memories they leave you with. These memories will be the lighthouse during stormy nights and will guide you to the morning where happiness lies and love rules.


Rules And Why We Don’t Need Them!

Every day we come across so many rules - Rules that have the potentials to turn us in to nothing more than a piece of tin. Right since the moment we are able to understand the meaning of words and gestures, are we made aware of this one particular word.

Rules are like these invisible strings that control our day-to-day life and make us what we are. Rules are hated by us, but like our lives, they just cannot be ignored. I once read somewhere, “What is the point in teaching the kids how to talk if throughout their lives we tell them to shut up and maintain silence?”

Many believe rules are made by those who have the power for those who don’t. Rules ensure that the rich and the poor stay how they are supposed to be.

Right since the time I hit the alarm, I come across so many rules. But most of them, ironically, are all about the restricting part.

I recently had the chance to spend some time near the calm sea shore. I figured, it is not just the authorities who impose the rules, it is us as well. We also set rules which make us likeable by some, hated by others.

Sometimes, many of us create rules, and a web of them, which we later regret. These rules ultimately prove disastrous for us and by the time we realize it, the moment is gone.
Rules are only as good as we allow them to be. By effectively breaking the rules, both internal and external, sometime we create pathways which leave a lasting impression for many.
Break the rules often
But then again, this is just a thought.

Wrapped up in the profound thoughts that may well kill someone, I woke up to this strange feeling. A feeling that just cannot be turned to words that easily. The dead silence of the night was actually a boon to me. Throughout the day, I talk, I work and I move. The darkness of the night just gave me ample reasons to listen, listen to my own self. 

The best thing you can do to yourself is by listening to your own self. I have realized it time and again. Every good thing has to come to an end. I realized I myself created some rules that have devastated me over the years. I had no one who could take back my words, my actions other than myself.

These rules are only as good as what you allow them to be.

Creating rules for ourselves is a very delicate task. One must be very careful when creating one for him/her. One of my previous posts dealt with people who built walls around themselves. The post tried to gauge why people create rules which makes their lives miserable altogether.

Create rules that would stop yourself from becoming vulnerable to unwanted people, not the rules that would do more harm than good.

Love Your Parents and Be Blessed

There are times when we begin questioning our very own existence. These are  times when we suddenly see everyone going away from us. We begin to feel dejected and exhausted with millions of thoughts criss-crossing our minds. Life has always been a learning curve for us. Those of us who know where and what life tried to teach us, are left contended. It is that lot which never understands when life gives them a chance find themselves in utter mess when any unforeseen circumstance happens.

We, like the everyone, are close to our parents. One finds the joys of the whole world in the eyes of mother and discovers the true meaning of heaven in the feet of father. But, with the incessant use of technology these days, we are so connected to our friends (and probably their's) that we hardly have time for the people who gave us life, who made us what we are today.

hand holding fingerWhat is the use of technology if it alienates our parents from us. A tree, no matter how big, would fall dead without its roots. Why are we not being able to understand this simple thing?

I am asking a simple question, "What bothers your dad or mom, right now?". Will you be able to answer that? Well, a typical bonehead answer can always be expected, "They are absolutely fine." But the truth is, they are not. Something is bothering them and you better lend an ear to their problems.

Seeing one's son/daughter getting busy with his/her life is something that will eat any parent from within. It makes them feel unwanted. And the saddest part of it all is - They did nothing to deserve it.

Life without a parent (or both) is terrible. Trust me, it is not easy to live a life sans one's parents. So, do one simple little thing everyday. Before you sleep and wish your boyfriend/girlfriend, a sweet good night, take out 5 mins and have a talk with your mom or dad (or both). Ask them how was their day, what did they do. You will be amazed to hear things that you didn't even know.

And then, may be, you will have something better than, "They are absolutely fine!"

God bless you.

Deciphering Moments

When was the last time you actually sat down and really enjoyed that cup of tea that is at your desk right now. Savoring the taste of the tea, relishing it's warmth and thanking it for helping you pause for a moment, have you done that lately?

Moments, good and bad, fill our daily lives like the fresh cold wind which fills up the winter season. Whether we believe in them or not, these infinitely short periods of time have a profound impact on our selves. What do we know about moments? Are they for real?

I find it very confusing when someone says, "Hope this moment lasts forever." How is that possible? Many a times between the maddening office schedule and the daily traffic, I have always tried to demystify this word for my own self. Will moments be that enjoyable if they stay with us forever? 

Acknowledging a moment is crucial for us to truly enjoy the subtle hints of life. Moments, for me are like festivals. Now, the inherent characteristics about festivals is that just when we seem to enjoy them, they get over. Festivals are enjoyable since they take a whole year to come again.

Moments are hard to come by. A lazy winter afternoon with your head resting on your beloved's lap is a moment when you experience sheer heaven. The streaks of light coming in between from your beloved's hair and her shy smile of happiness of having you with her is something that brings peace to you. These are the shared moments we all should relish.

moments are like a blossoming rose
Being mindful is a key for enjoying moment, one after the other.

In the mad times we live in, it is undoubtedly quite hard to give each moment the importance it deserves. And this insanely is the single most biggest reason why I love photography and hold every photographer in high regards. Photographers often speak about how they are able to capture a moment and reproduce it to us. Skilled photographers often are able to capture the deeper emotions behind every moment.
(When will I have the money to buy a DSLR and learn photography?)

Our mind is one heck of a thing. It can make our day or can ruin it for us. There are times when your mind is filled up crazy thoughts which are downright impossible to recreate in real life. Most the time whenever I am alone (and not wired in), I make it a point to reach out to my thoughts.

There are various advantages to reaching out to one’s thoughts which are always scrambling for attention. I am not asking you to put a cap on those thoughts, how much irrelevant they are to you or to anybody else. It is nearly impossible to stop the thoughts from jamming up your head.

There was a time when I was also bombarded by these irrelevant thoughts which hampered my daily life. I decided to do something about them. I just gave the thoughts the attention they deserved and slowly these unwanted thoughts which made my life a sheer hell are now much gone.

From enjoying a simple sweet and relishing all of them one at a time to enjoying the first drops of cold November rain, moments can really spice up your life. The feelings that erupt when you are in one of those moments are hard to put in words.

Take a time out to enjoy the moments and the thoughts that come up to your mind and you will discover the hidden key to happiness, the ever eluding happiness.

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Aurindam Mukherjee