The Cost of a Misunderstanding


Where there should have been words now lies a deafening silence. Where there should have been smiles and laughter now lies nothing but just a blank stare into oblivion. A call is all that it should have taken to dispel the misunderstanding and it does exactly the opposite – it escalates everything. One shares their misguided perception towards you and your ego kicks in with fingers being pointed towards your integrity. You are hurt, you are angry and you don’t want any of it. The palace of memories slowly seems to crumble.

Like the blank faces you find at the traffic signal or the hollow faces you see in the train, running somewhere, anywhere, every day, back and forth and back and forth and discussing petty things just to get their minds off the bigger question that haunts them every day – why this, why now? – you remain numb to the accusations. You question every beautiful memory you guys had shared and suddenly, you are reading the very book from a bit far and yes, you feel used, humiliated. There is no way out.

Listen

You listen, you understand what that person is saying. Sure, whatever you are being told is completely wrong, false. Cutting that other person now won’t do you any good. Worse, it may feel as if you’re truly, trying to cover it up. So, hold your emotion and listen to the person. Give that person the audience they deserve. Assimilate everything they are saying and create the entire picture. Don’t ask anything – that moment is past, trust me.

Clarify

Rationally, correct where you feel the story is wrong. If they are partly correct, acknowledge the same and apologize, wherever necessary. The story this other person has given you is obviously wrong and you need to clarify. So, do that. Step-by-step, word-for-word, clarify. Keep it polite and courteous and remember one thing – there has been a question raised towards your integrity and any explanation or words beyond this issue would be beneath you.

Walk

You will have to make tough calls now. If this other person shows they are willing to correct themselves and go ahead and bring the people behind this fiasco, in front of you, they deserve a second chance. If they continue with their behavioural pattern and worse, don’t warn you about the people who were behind this conversation, then you know where you are in the priority list of this person. Walk. It’ll be tough, tougher than the last time, but you have your legs and they will never fail you when you need them. 


sunset in the mountains
Look ahead. 
Misunderstandings are necessary in every relationship. They question the very foundation and two people are supposed to emerge stronger, together. However, if you listen and clarify politely and yet the other person holds some cards back, then there is no room left. This relationship is doomed for you, sooner or later. If you cannot be the No.1 in a person’s life, what are you doing in their life anyway? The cost of a misunderstanding could be a lot more. It's you and all you who has the power to let that bog you down.

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