Here's to Life!
The blinking cursor offers some solace. At least you have your words. You could write a thousand dreams and yet the pages won’t finish. You could write as fast as their words or as slow as your thoughts when you have woken up in the morning. The tea doesn’t help, never has. But then it’s worth a shot, just like that relationship that’s no more.
So you have another old wound opening up right in front of you. The person whom you gave all the love and respect at one point of time in life suddenly seems to be the very person to kill you. It’s like a lost battle, really. Like the very insect that walks across the bright monitor thinking it has found the warmth of a flame. But the light will be gone and it will be dead by the time morning ushers in.
Investing time and effort in relationships is hard. You both commit mistakes, you both are supposed to forgive and forget and move on. There is always a time in your life when you have to ask whether you’d like to move out or move on. Sadly, if the other person remembers to hurt you with the same wounds, you have an answer staring dead in your face.
Yes. This comes up around a time when the author has decided to severe some cancerous bonds. It’s a last ditch attempt at life. Escapism, yes. Survival, yes. Life, yes. Remember, you can only apologize that much. You can only make up for it that much. Some might say you’re being selfish, you are not trying to work things out hard enough. But, when it is enough? Is it when you being there in someone’s life brings him/her down, or worse, you? Is it enough when you are at the far end of the rope with no hope and no one to look after you? Is it when you make someone your sun and he/she decides you could do with some night?
There comes a time when you need to learn and unlearn some hurt. It’s when you need to do a rain-check and consider the ones around you from a stranger’s point of view. Yes, you will find that you have been reading the book too closely to make any sense. Set in the perspective and my god will it come as a shocker to you? You will see that for most you aren’t anyone else but a person who is there to feed their quota of entertainment, folks who need you just for discussing you with someone else. They’ll sympathize when you’re down, they’ll applaud when you find success, but at the end of it all, you will find that you can do without them.
Learn about the people whom you can do without and cut them off. It’s simple. They might come back and bite you. Let them be and remember – they can only bite that much. There will be a time when they will move on, like Cancer, and find someone else to live on. Don’t warn the other person for that person needs the wake-up call. Just stand and applaud.
I have been really terrible with people and really amazing with others. I haven’t received different treatment from either lot. Not that I expect otherwise. What I continue to learn and imbibe in life is to find more people I can do without. That way, you know they’ll leave one day and you will prepare yourself accordingly. You don’t need to answer anyone. All you need to do is simply let things be. Some wounds just don’t want to be healed. All you can do is escape, after all, you’re escaping from sadness and disappointment and hurt. You escape with the hope that one day, these wounds will look nothing in front of other larger wounds, some self-inflicted, some by others.
We all got bruises, like religion. Let’s keep it to ourselves and not dangle it in front of others. They don’t deserve to be bored with your hurt and so do you, to theirs. Don’t lend a shoulder and don’t expect a shoulder to cry on. You have better and awesome things to do in life. Cheers!