The Life in Hurt
"This storm has gone past. Maybe it's will be alright for some time."
The petrichor of silence is all that you are left with after your thoughts rain down all night. The desperation isn't visible to everyone, anyone perhaps. Yet, inside you are burning with questions, with thoughts that are raring to turn your world upside down like a shipwreck in a storm. And you can't have your sails brought down. You have to move ahead.
You do everything in your capability to make the ones around you happy. You find them every time they are down, you find them every time they are looking for an escape route to happiness. And yet, it becomes increasingly difficult for them to bail you out when you are in a bad situation. Excuses flow like a river that's barely out of the mountains and all you are left is the unquenchable thirst of nothingness.
Every time you are let down by the people around you in your life, there is this sudden surge of disappointment from within. Understandable. You are in a precarious situation on whom to defend - your self or your loved ones? But who exactly wins in the end? You don't really have an answer to that, no matter how much you'd want it to be to you.
It's important to know where things are and where are you. Being humiliated in a relationship is not the way ahead. There are some things in life that deserve your happiness and your ire. More often than not, we are being devalued by people till we are gone. And when they don't find us anymore in their lives, they are left with just an awkwardness in the people and the places. Without you, life is never the same for either of you.
The hurt becomes your life.
The hurt that you somehow begin to blame yourself for, the same hurt that gets you angry and desperate to make a bad decision. This hurt clings on to you like a child to a mother, urging you to pay attention, to keep away from doing anything else, to quench its thirst, its hunger, and you soon find your self in your own sweet world of devastation.
You stop feeling, dreaming, hoping. You stop living.
There's no point going further into this world as it simply makes you get away from it all. And in the process, you turn away those who genuinely care about you and hope to have you till they breathe their last. That's not the point of life.
Deep introspection, with respect to the people whom you want in your life and whom you need; who need you and who want you only when they are turned away from everyone else, that's the need of the hour. You need to follow your heart, take some tough decisions, stick by them. Bad or good for others, they will definitely be good for you. But yes, never take a decision when you are angry. More often than not, you'll regret it.
Get up in the morning. Make a hot cup of tea. Decide. Your life awaits you.