Alone and Happy? Is that Even Possible?
You look around. You are walking along a deserted road. It's way past midnight and not a single soul is out there courageous enough to brave the cold. You hang on. The cold hasn't even hit its peak. It has to match up to the inside, after all!
There are some situations that just happen in your life. Situations that you can't have any control on. There are not many occasions when you can take a step that doesn't piss anyone off. And by this constant disappointment, sometimes self-inflicted, you slowly erode away to the point that nothing but just a mere reflection of the vegetative state of your self remains. You hang on to the dear thought that it will all go away. And the cold is merely setting in.
Far away, the city's about to call it a night. The entire city-scape is slowly turning darker. Or maybe it's the effect you get when you are staring at it for long. There are some moments which require deep introspection. The only solace you have is the unconditional assurance of your heart beat.
Friends are important. Their place in our life is important to the point that we define ourselves through them. We try and meet them whenever we can and hope to grow old with them. There are many a moments which are often against us. We find that someone or the other is hurt and yet we can't do anything about it. We find ourselves with both ends of the rope and we are plunging into the abyss of doubt. Self-doubt.
Being alone is important. It gets you settled at a whole new perspective at your life. It's impertinent to hit you sometimes - "Where am I heading?" Being alone can help you know that. It's like a fresh start that you can truly cherish if you want to.
As you head down through the night, you find the cold slowly creeping up on you. The streetlights usher you home, but that's some distance away. For you still have a wonderful walk, one that will make you re-assess yourself in your world full of people willing enough to tear you apart.
So, what now?
Consider it a fresh start. Friends leave. They aren't supposed to but they do, right? The least you can do here is sit back and waste away on that precious life of yours. I have friends who often pack their bags and go away on trips without informing, without warning. They stay away in the remotest corners on the country and get back and behave as if nothing went wrong. At first, I was mad. I scoffed at the stupid idea. Who could possibly love the experience? Of being alone at an amazing place without friends?
They got back to their normal life as if nothing happened. I asked them about the pleasure they derived from such boring tour to which they sarcastically replied, "Dude, I don't need anyone's sh*t to decide on what I want and need. I want to go anywhere, I go."
They were happy BY being alone. It has come to this, unfortunately.
But, that's a different story.
The fact is, it cannot get any worse. You are alone and the sooner you come to face this simple little fact, the better will it for you. Don't be sad. Don't be angry. Just make yourself even better at yourself.
It's a wonderful life that you have got. Why waste it on someone else's expectations and disappointments?