Friendship and Memories

Memories from Mone on Vimeo.
I was going way over 60kmph on a gloomy December morning. The recently laid road was just what I wanted.  The dry air made my eyes wet and tears came out from the sides. The pointer went higher and higher and I lost track of time.

I was going to my college re-union, the college where I spent three years and countless moments. It was here that I got introduced to the bengali culture, it was here that I started speaking my mother tongue. It was here that I came to know what love was and, above all, what friendship was.

I made a long right turn and turned off the engine. I was at the college gates.

It was like I had bumped on to an old friend. I felt every piece of brick talking to me, telling me how happy they were to see me. Just like a child, who, after meeting up with his/her mom years later, can't seem to ask anything because he/she is so damn excited just to see her!

As I made my way to the riverside of the campus, memories came gushing at me. I kept on looking for the waves of familiar faces among the sea of students and ex-students whom I didn't even know.

The sun played hide and seek with the dark clouds and it was unusually windy.

(Gosh! I have so much to write about!)

Our college sits just along the banks of the river Ganga. Alongside the bank, trees were chopped to be made into little seats.

Light shimmered down the water and I could see fishermen laying their trap. I could make out four of them. There was no one besides me. It wasn't much trouble finding my people though. For a brief moment, I closed my eyes and there they were! Deep in my thoughts.

I could still hear his guitar amongst the ruffling leaves, I could still hear her singing her favorite number. I could hear two boys talking about their computers and I could make out someone just lying there, listening to the guy playing the guitar while she looked at the sky.

I had a huge group of my own people just a couple of years back. And yet, I was alone now. I remembered few awkward lines I read somewhere I don't remember.

Getting a chance to visit the college was my dream since I left..

I went..

I saw the long pathways of fate lying lonely ahead with bundles of scattered leaves fallen from the tree of love!

The tree of hope!

The tree under which once friendship was made..

I fell in love with someone..!

Lonely classrooms with a gentle breeze flowing from the window of change filled in the thoughts of the past..!

Pictures of my friends flashed through my mind like photographs..!

The moments we spent together..

The sadness that they are gone..!

Their voices haunted my thoughts

Only memories would be there in place of my friends..!

In the darkness of my memories, in the darkness of my thoughts..!

My mind slowly whispered.. "Heaven was here ..once"

Source - clearartist.blogspot.com
There are times in each of our lives when the people we love, suddenly disappear. It is awfully painful and yet not justified.

Pain can be handled if it is justified.

I have made new ones since then, and yet  it is the old ones I miss more. 

So, here is my Christmas wish - I hope our friendship remains the same, full of life and love. 

A Lot Can Happen Over Coffee


It is really in the wind, isn’t it? The numbness. Nightlights look so milky as I walk back from office. I see people huddled around makeshift fires, mostly rickshaw-walas and cabbies. My breathing is a bit deep.

Yes, the winter is here.

I often imagine nature to be a living breathing woman. And winter to me is as beautiful and serene as a woman, when she lifts her face, and her striking eyes looking at you, full of glow. And that curl of hair with a drop of water hanging precariously on the end, kissing her cheeks. That shy smile, which makes you happy, makes you feel at home.

Winter is a time when you can cherish one very simple thing – Coffee.

No, you can’t fully enjoy coffee when it rains. The winner there clearly is tea in an earthen pot, or which an average bangali calls, “Bharer Cha.”

The subtle hints of coffee beans, with the right amount of milk can really set the tone of your mood, and your day.

Someone said, just about anybody can make coffee. But, to really know how to make coffee will be like infusing life somewhere.

Making coffee demands love. Just like life.

A hot cup of coffee besides your bed on a cold winter night is the best sight in the whole wide world. An only better sight is when it is your love bringing that cup of coffee. With your love running her fingers through your hair – that is when you know it, that you are finally home.

My short stint as a paying guest in the city has taught me to understand relationships, fast. It has nonetheless, taught me one more thing – Nothing can beat that morning cup of pure unadulterated love.

There may be hundreds of coffee-shops in the city but when you have that one cup in the morning, you can be rest assured to power your way through the day like a gladiator in a Colosseum, fighting away to glory.
So, this winter, way after the thanksgiving celebrations are done with, take a time out.

Make one cup full of coffee and treat yourself, to life!

Because when it comes to making oneself (or other’s) happy, nothing can ever beat that rich taste of pure mountain-grown coffee.

So, who wants one? :)


Glass Half Empty - Half Full




When you see the entire world facing you, just turn around and you will become the one leading the world.

Perception - A simple and yet such a powerful word. Perception, right or wrong, becomes the focal point of communication between us and our thoughts. A perfectly sane person can destroy himself/herself with a wrong perception towards a certain incident or subject.

God has given us humans the wonderful power of judgment – The power to see the glass either half full or half empty.

Yet, it amazes me when I see people, average people, looking down at that glass as half empty rather than the opposite.

In my previous post, I talked about why people build walls around their lives. Well, the real reason behind all these actions is – Perception.

There are times in our lives when we find ourselves in the darkest of hours. We find the curtains of despair fluttering in the wind that brings nothing but sadness. But, we can always; and must always challenge the darkness by lighting the candle of hope and protecting it with the hands of certainty.

A few years back, I had the opportunity to film a documentary about the lives of two rickshaw-walas. One lived in abject poverty, barely able to eat once a day and the other had 4 cell phones, 2 plots, 12 people working under him, and still pulled rickshaw from dawn till dusk. Although they were in the same profession (one that had poverty written boldly on it), they were strikingly different in one area- perception.

The poorer of the two had given up on his life and was waiting for death to embrace him (if not already).  And the other guy, named Tinku, was planning for something better. He argued with me saying, “Many rich people don’t have the kind of sleep which I enjoy every night. I am happy knowing this simple fact.”

Discovering the happiness that surrounds us can only begin if we alter the perception with which we see the world and its people.

We can either look sadly upon the half emptied glass of water and feel scared of our soon-to-end life or we can enjoy the ride and create waves of love and leave footprints of happiness for others to cherish, marvel and walk on.

Between you and me – There is no glass.

Why Build Walls?

    Derek Vinyard: I'm not. I'm lucky. I feel lucky because it's wrong, Danny. It's wrong and it was eating me up, it was going to kill me. And I kept asking myself all the time, how did I buy into this shit? It was because I was pissed off, and nothing I ever did ever took that feeling away. I killed two guys, Danny, I killed them. And it didn't make me feel any different. It just got me more lost and I'm tired of being pissed off, Danny. I'm just tired of it.
                                   -          American History X

Sometimes, out of the sheer sadness which grips us and makes our lives quite insufferable, we really deserve one simple little thing - A break. I do not understand this one simple thing as to why people feel so shy to say what they really want? Why do people always deviate away from the real issue which bothers them and not try and solve it?

Discovering happiness becomes an altogether tough task when we shy away from all the love that is around us..ready to embrace us.

I have seen relationships break down overnight when either of the two people starts creating boundaries around him/her for no apparent reasons.

Communication has transformed so beautifully with time. Now-a-days, we are able to express our thoughts fearlessly, albeit in front of the monitor and then have people (friends??) dissect and analyze them.

Image courtesy - fotothing
Is it right to write about a certain person which we do not have the guts to speak in front of him/her? It is akin to backstabbing and although the results are the same (death), the murderer never experiences peace.

This is what I’ve learnt from these failed experiences. No matter how much high you create that wall around yourself to “shield away people from hurting you”, in the end, these walls may be too high for you to climb over and ask for help.

Be happy. Just love

“   Bob Sweeney: There was a moment..like this. when I used to blame everything and everyone... for all the pain and suffering and vile things that happened to me, that I saw happen to my people. Used to blame everybody. Blamed white people, blamed society, blamed God. I didn't get no answers 'cause I was asking the wrong questions. You have to ask the right questions.
Derek Vinyard: Like what?
Bob Sweeney: Has anything you've done made your life better?

5 Things to Make Diwali Special

Diwali ideas for your loved ones
Diwali is time when we must forgive even our enemies (or frienimies for that matter). It is a very beautiful occasion and one must do everything in his/her power to spread the festive joy and warmth. 

Here are the top five things you must do to usher in the festivities in style –

Treat Yourself!!!

Yes! You heard it right! We often forget to spend some time with our own self. So, do this simple thing, take out about a hour or so and order that one thing you really love, and treat yourself. Be a bit selfish in this regard. Trust me, you are gonna love it!

Make Elders Feel Special

Many of us have elders in our homes. Or during Diwali, many of us go visit them. A visit to our grandparents is always treated as a waste of time (and boy! it makes me sad!).  Many people whom I know, plan their movie-outings with the visit to their grandparents.

Try and brighten their lives by not existing, but by being there with them. Spend some quality time with them. Take them out for a walk or spend some time watching TV with them. They’ll be happy and you will surely receive loads of blessings.

Donate

Many of us do our annual house cleaning during this time. What do you do with the stuffs you throw away? Do they head straight to the dump-site? Do a simple little thing which won’t cause you much trouble. Put a word out through your maid the day you will be carrying out the cleaning. Tell your servants that anyone who needs old clothes can come up and take them from you. Will save you a lot of time and put loads of smile along the way.

Help Your Mom with the Puja

There you go! (C’mon! Puja! Mandir! Mom! Gotta be kiddin’ me,  man!) Now, here is one sure-shot way to get that new PSP this Diwali. Here is the simple deal – You take your mom to the temple and you can be pretty sure that she will help get that thing for her Raja Beta/Rani Beti! :D

Do something Unusual

First of all, this doesn’t mean running across the street in that Borat swim-suit. Do something that you would normally not associate with yourself. I will give you an idea of what I am trying to convey. The year before the previous year I treated every Rikshaw-wala in the vicinity with sweets. Later that year I made a documentary highlighting the lives of two Rikshaw-walas.

Getting an idea? Great! Then share it with us in the comments below! Have a great and safe Diwali. Hope you have a wonderful and successful life ahead. Enjoy!

Dreams and Why I Don’t Want One


"The invariable mark of a dream is to see it come true."    - Ralph Waldo Emerson

The raging thunderstorm inside was too much to handle. I kept on fighting the winds only to fall back on where I started. My eyes were all blurry with the strong gust and rain falling on my face. Everywhere I saw were dark clouds hovering closer and closer..

It was getting dark.

Just then the wind stopped. Was the worst over? Or was this the uncomfortable calm just before the storm. I was nervous and yet anxious. I didn’t know what lay in front of me and yet I didn’t want to know that either..and yet I had to.

I stood there for a moment and then dashed forward, quickening my pace. From the corner of my eyes I could see lightning flash across the horizon. I held my belongings close to my heart and kept walking, eyes firmly on the ground.

I was immersed in the petrichor all around and for a moment a faint smile was all what I had.

Dreams are the doors of uncertainty
image courtesy - www.brooksjensenarts.com
Behind me were the clouds and lay in front of me was a dry desert kissed by the rain after a thousand years. The sky was red and I had to run; I had to reach there, somewhere.

I called out for someone, anyone. The silence was all what I got in return. The silence of the world when the wind stops, was all what I got in return. Like dead leaves getting crushed under me, my dream was collapsing on me…The weight of my emotions was too much to handle..to carry.

And then, it rained.

I turned around. I saw clouds of rain slowly making their way towards me and I just couldn’t outrun them.

Yes! My dream was collapsing..and fast!

Dreams don’t play by your rules, it’s the other way round. It is just the feeling that matters. When you are in a beautiful dream, just when you are enjoying it, it ends...It vanishes. And no matter how much you try to move out of a nightmare, you just can’t.

You are your own prisoner in the dreams.

It really amazes me when I see myself in one of my dreams. I just don’t like them one bit. They make me hate the world I wake up to. I just have myself in those dreams and the people who are out there to catch me.

And I am just running away from them all the time. I don’t know the reason why they are out to catch me, I don’t want to. All I care is to wake up to a world that otherwise, treats me like a step-son.

There will be a day I will stop running. There will be a day when I will face the demons, demons that held me captive my own dream. I will confront them and chase them away. There will be a day, when I will quit dreaming altogether.

That day will I be born, out of the ashes of my own dreams.

One day. Someday.

Darkness Is Bliss


The sound of cold wind brushing up against the palm leaves at the dead of the night made me wonder, wonder the other side of my actions.


I was alone.

It was way back in the evening that it all started. My phone constantly buzzed with the plethora of mails and mentions, comments my friends had made and the likes I received, I dashed it aside. I kept walking, walking on the joggers’ lane besides the lake. The sun had just gone down and only a fading orange light glistened across the horizon. Birds were headed back home and night was fast taking over. 


Everywhere I read, I hear words which tell us to let go off the darkness that shrouds our world. Are we really able to do that in the end? Do we ever get the courage to face some of the ugly truths which constantly pull us down? I guess not.

Street-lights were up and glowing and the light made its way through the leaves of trees. That was the moment when I stopped and glanced one last time at the lake. I had run for 30 odd minutes and I was tired. I made my way to a seat nearby to catch my breath.


I was alone.

I suddenly realized that I was angry; angry at others, at myself, at life and at anyone and everyone. No matter how much I tried, I couldn’t let go off that pathetic feeling. I was feeling disappointed at myself for letting my mind take a good laugh at me and saying, “I told you so!”

Sometimes, darkness is needed
Image courtesy - Artistportfolio.net
I had made a simple mistake – one that I thought I would never make again. 


I had trusted.

When you trust someone, you give them a chance – a chance to either take you way high, or way down.

If you want to stay, you need to deal with this subject in the most careful manner as possible. Otherwise, at the end of the day, when you stand all there by yourself, with no one besides you, it WILL hurt.

This brings to the reason I started with this blog – darkness. There are many inspirational people out there who are out to tell you how bad darkness is, how it can ruin your life. Darkness, they say, is the opposite of light (read life). But most of them, ironically, end up saying how to start with your “Quest towards the light.”

I am happy by being at dark. I am happy NOT knowing the truth. Truth got me nothing but sadness.

The word “Friends” has really gone for a spin in the recent days. Friends are not what you think they are anymore. They may want to know everything about you but they may not share even a single thing about them.

And I have retaliated. I have made them feel how successful I am at hurting them back. I have successfully made them feel miserable and I am beginning to make less friends these days.

I am Happy
Knowing that my life is short, I enjoy my moments..and I am happy
I am happy at office..I am happy when I am home
Friends don’t have time..I am happy watching their updates
Someone is upset. . I am happy being at the receiving end
The one I cant reach out to …I am happy with the memories.
So what if the past wont come again, I am happy reliving the days.
Don’t know a shit about tomorrow, I am happy dreaming.
We all will laugh away the moments, I am happy being in them forever.
Knowing that my life is short, I enjoy my moments..and I am happy..
Or 
Am I?

The Power of Memories

Memories hug you through tough times
Memories can do wonderful things. They make you cry when you least expect, and they can make you smile no matter how much sadness grips you. We are what our memories make us. The person that you see everyday at the mirror is living and breathing because of these memories.

In these mad times, we often forget who we are, where we belong and where we are destined to go from here. Trust me, whenever you feel devastated, just sit back, or go out and take your memories along with you. You will instantly know what you are supposed to do.

There is a time in our lives when we find that one person whom we think as everything. And when they leave, it is the memories that stay along with us. A moment spent with our loved ones may take decades to forget. I have the honor of spending some of my life's best moments with people who made me what I am today.

It was raining today and I wanted to enjoy in my own way. After work today, before I got back home, I simply switched off my cell and went for a walk along the lake. The place frequented by joggers and lovers, was all desolated at that point of time.

The silence of the night was only broken with bikes with rushed by. It was only me, my thoughts, a warm cup of tea and some drops of cold November rain. I just let go the thoughts which came rushing to me with every drop of rain falling on me.



"..And we both know hearts can change
And it's hard to hold a candle
In the cold November rain.."



I remembered back then, I never had to experience the rains alone. I had someone besides me. The person made me love the rain. We spent the days and nights laughing and dancing all throughout the rains. 

And now..only the memories remain. 

I remembered them all. The time spent without any worries about the future, the time spent being at that particular moment, the time spent, perhaps, being pure happy.

The tea had gone cold and I was aimlessly walking along the winding roads...

The cold wind suddenly picked up. The commotion within me needed just that, an assurance. With leaves making love to the wind and dancing along all through the night, I was left with this simple thought - 

Our loved ones are there because god wants us to enjoy the moment. And to see us smile all throughout our lives, he has created memories. Sometimes, being alone with nothing else than a cup of tea and some memories is more than enough to restore the smile back on our faces.

I heaved a sigh of relief. I had finally over-powered my past demons. I was successful at suppressing the bad memories and was happy and contended with what I had right then...myself.

Cherish your loved ones, and the memories they leave you with. These memories will be the lighthouse during stormy nights and will guide you to the morning where happiness lies and love rules.

Peace.
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Aurindam Mukherjee