So, What's Your Resolution?

Another list, another resolution, for it's another year altogether. Every year, we sit down to create a list of all the things that we aspire to achieve the next year - may be lose weight, may be to quit smoking. But they seldom last a week, just like the new year's fad.

So, what's your resolution for the coming year? Here are few of my suggestions -

That One Friend

How many friends do you have? No, really. How many friends do you have? 100? 200? How many of them are there whenever you need them?

The person you think is your friend will be there for you at any time of the day. However, if he/she is not the one whom you can call whenever you feel like, that person isn't your friend. If the person misunderstands you when you need him/her the most, then clearly that person isn't your friend. If that person calls you only on your birthday, that person isn't your friend.

Well, now that we are done with some sifting, how many friends do you have now?

When Nothing Seems Right....

"I don't know if you've ever felt like that.  That you wanted to sleep for a thousand years, or just not exist, or just not be aware that you do exist, or something like that.  I think wanting that is very morbid, but I want it when I get like this.  That's why I'm trying not to think.  I just want it all to stop spinning." - The Perks Of Being A Wallflower.

How often do we feel shunned? How often do we want to shut ourselves away from everything around us? How many times do we have to shriek for the goddamn world to hear our cries and yet we find no open  ears?

When the Whole World Hates You

There are times when you may feel the entire world hates you. Your parents never understand you. Compare you with children of their friends who seemingly are doing no better than you are now. Sometimes, your brother or sister may hurt you for no apparent reasons. Your friends may desert you to newer ones and somehow forget to invite you in their good days.

It feels terrible to walk back alone when you thought you had many.

The more you think about the people whom you expected to be with you, the more sadness grips you like the summer rain. You don't know how to go about finding an effective way out and by the time you have stumbled on to some good memories, you are already drenched.

There are times in all our lives when sadness and hatred gets too much to make sense. Nothing remains. Absolutely nothing. Just pure, unadulterated hate. You hate the ones who brought you these tough times. You hate yourself even more for trying to give wings to your hope and ending up expecting certain things from them ...and them inevitably failing you.

But how far can you walk and hate yourself at the same time? There has to be a point where you stop, right? When is that exactly? Is it when someone special comes close to you and holds your hand and tells you that you are not alone? No. It actually begins at the time you forgive yourself. 

The world may hate you for who you are. It may make your life miserable. But remember, you are still here, you are still fighting. Be your own courage, for the world salutes the ones who are courageous enough to face up to it. If you are hurt when someone addresses you as a selfish person, don't be. There are two ways to look at this situation.

1. You tried to make them happy by giving it all, even your happiness.
2. You are selfish for your own happiness.

There is no third perspective. At least it's not yours. It's theirs. 

Get up. Dust yourself and walk. Wipe away the tears and take a long deep breath. You were alone to begin with. So, you might as well be courageous while you are alone.

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Aurindam Mukherjee